Borrowed most of this off another Chevy board. Enjoy :D

You find yourself using the excuse 'yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, du' after EVERY race.

You drive a 4 door 'type R'.

Your gumby pants make it hard to shift.

more than 20 of your mods involve sheilding whats actually underneath.

You have stickers for parts you dont have.

You refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'.

Your car has so much camber it can drive on its side.

Your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter.

You have 'power by' anything anywhere on a car made by the engine
manufacturer

Birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees.

You will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs.

You can't race uphills.

You have "All Motor" emblazoned on your rear hatch right next to your 15.50 dial in.

You brag to have nitrous and have a 14.50 dial in.

Your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-stock cars.

You spent more money on stickers and stripes than your parents paid
for your car.

You go to a performance shop and immediately start rummaging through the decal bin.

Your tach is bigger than your head.

You have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic.

You refuse to race it at races because it's a "show car" and at car shows you refuse to show it because it's a "race car".

Your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip.

At Autocross events you don't participate because you have a drag race setup and at drag events you brag about kicking ass on the autocross.

You have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Voyager.

You brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed.

Your exhaust sounds like a dying moose.

Your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine.

You get your performance parts at Pep Boys.

You have $4500 in rims and tires on a $1200 car.

You spend $100 on light up windshield washer nozzles.

You spend another $50 on matching light up valve stems.

You put an "R" on your car and think it's now an offical racing model.

You paint your dash and door panels with spray paint the same color as your cars exterior.

You cover all the hoses and wires in your engine bay with cheap colored plastic electrical conduict and then concider you engine bay as being highly detailed.

You prop you hood up with coil springs at a car show.

You buy seat belt pads with your cars name on it.

Your gauge faces change color with your mood.

You buy a strut tower brace and think your car can handle more .g's than a Viper.

You buy simulated cross drilled rotors to go over your drum brakes.

You concider a new shift knob and steering wheel as a major modification.

You don't call it nitrous. You say NAAAWS!

If your car gives off more neon light than Las Vegas

If you constantly boast that your car gives off 100hp per liter, despite having a 1.8 liter vehicle

If you can fit a watermelon or large fruit in your exhaust pipe

If you have a sticker that says, "Momma bought, but I did all the mods myself"

... If your entire car weighs as much as an El Camino engine.
... If your car can fit into the back of an El Camino.
... If the whole interior of your car glows under a blacklight.
... If your sound system consists of 2 stock component speakers, and 4 12' Subwoofers that only distorts whatever music you're listening too, but you insist that "It sounds good that way"