Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when
their carts collide.


One says to the other, "I'm sorry - I was looking
for my wife."


"What a coincidence, I'm looking for my wife as
well, and I'm getting a little desperate."


"Well, maybe we can help each other. What does
your wife look like?"


"She's tall, with long blond hair, long firm legs,
huge boobs and a very nice tight butt. What's
your wife look like?"

"Nevermind, let's just look for yours!"

A very pompous, Baptist minister was seated next to a Texan on a flight from Nashville to Dallas.

After the plane was airborne, snacks were passed out and drink orders taken.

The Texan asked for sour mash whiskey and soda over ice, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant, not knowing who the man was, then asked the minister if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen brazen whores than allow liquor to touch my lips!"

The Texan looked at the minister, then handed his drink back to the attendant and replied, "I didn't know we had a choice."

Did you hear that uncommonally warm weather caused Alaska to break into four pieces and that Texas is now the fifth largest U.S. state?

hey whats wrong with texas??