87SS
01-02-2004, 10:02 AM
WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
· Your last name stays put.
· The garage is all yours.
· Wedding plans take care of themselves.
· Chocolate is just another snack.
· You can be president.
· You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
· You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
· Car mechanics tell you the truth.
· The world is your urinal.
· You never have to drive to another gas station because "this one's just too icky."
· You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
· Same work, more pay.
· Wrinkles add character.
· Wedding dress - $5,000; tux rental - $100.
· People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
· The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
· New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
· One mood, ALL the time.
· Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
· You know stuff about tanks.
· A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
· You can open all your own jars.
· You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
· If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still beyour friend.
· Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
· Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (one black pair two sports pair)
. You almost never have strap problems in public.
· You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
· Everything on your face stays its original color.
· The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
· You only have to shave your face and neck.
· You can play with toys all your life.
· Your belly usually hides your big hips.
· One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
· You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
· You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
· You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
· You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
:P
· Your last name stays put.
· The garage is all yours.
· Wedding plans take care of themselves.
· Chocolate is just another snack.
· You can be president.
· You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
· You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
· Car mechanics tell you the truth.
· The world is your urinal.
· You never have to drive to another gas station because "this one's just too icky."
· You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
· Same work, more pay.
· Wrinkles add character.
· Wedding dress - $5,000; tux rental - $100.
· People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
· The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
· New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
· One mood, ALL the time.
· Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
· You know stuff about tanks.
· A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
· You can open all your own jars.
· You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
· If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still beyour friend.
· Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
· Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (one black pair two sports pair)
. You almost never have strap problems in public.
· You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
· Everything on your face stays its original color.
· The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
· You only have to shave your face and neck.
· You can play with toys all your life.
· Your belly usually hides your big hips.
· One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
· You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
· You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
· You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
· You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
:P