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[69 SS396]

POS car

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1987 Subaru GL hatchback EA81 4x4 4Wheel Drive - $4700 (Central Iowa near Grinnell)

Date: 2013-01-01, 6:54PM CST
Reply to this postReply to: gxmpn-3515295523@sale.craigslist.org[?]

1987 SUBARU Gl 4x4 with true 4wheel drive and lo range too
141,000m 

Fabricated from rare minerals excavated from the core of Mount Olympus, artfully designed by Zeus and skillfully handcrafted in the Land of the Rising Sun by the deft hands of the infamous 7 Samurai. This Japanese rice-rocket is unquestionably the most heroic form of transport since the Apollo 11 lunar module. 

Searching for a delightful automobile to ferry you Barnes and Noble to buy 50 shades of Grey, or perhaps cart little Blueboy to clarinet lessons? Do me a favor, smash your laptop on the ground, give yourself an uppercut and take a good, long look in the mirror. Frankly, I'm offended. 

If, on the other hand, you're hunting for the most diabolical slab of precious metal to be synthesized during the Big Bang, please continue. . . 

To date, the most monumental day of your existence was your wedding, or the birth of your children. That's about to change! In fact, you'd trade your spouse and all of your offspring just to test-drive this barbarian. 


FACTS: this car transported the Statue of Liberty to New York City from Paris. 

Cast as KITT in 1982's Knight Rider TV series, but eventually deemed too intelligent for the role. 

Manufactured in 1987, this Gl was responsible for the Grunge movement. If Kurt Cobain owned one, Nirvana would still be thrashing out tunes. 

I drove it to my last job interview and my employer handed me his résumé. 

If you were to be run over by this beast, you'd have to fight off the strong urge to thank the driver. 

When the cops pulled me over a few weeks ago, they were lucky to leave with a warning. 


SPECIFICATIONS: . 

2 front seats from a 0-60 in 5 second car (thrones) back upholstered with Albino Panda fur died blue.. 

Stereo system used for sound engineering the U2 360 tour. 

Built-in chick/dude magnet (it knows your preference). 

Integrated time machine (takes you back to 1987 when you step inside) 

Powered by nuclear fusion (makes Coles/Woolies fuel vouchers redundant) 

Windscreen wiper jets filled with the tears of Jesus (washes away the most sinful grime) 

No power steering (so you better start pumping iron to shred your biceps) 

Analogue clock (ask your Grandfather how to read it). 


PRICE: 

$4,400 or 

Reasonable offers accepted. 

(Example of a reasonable offer: $10,000 +) 
 Jackie Chan once drove a car like this in a movie called Cannonball Run. If you want to look for rust (besides on the 2 front rims that came from my BRAT), you will have to go look at another car, this one has NONE and never has had. It spent it's entire life in the Desert SW scaring rattlesnakes out of their skin. This car will not be sold to someone who cannot do the following: Check/change their own oil. Change a tire by oneself. Replace spark plugs, fuels filters, etc. If you cannot do your own simple maintenance, then you are not worthy of this type of car. Simple

[gilby]

..good sales pitch I've ever seen...

[LOCKJAW]

What was this guy smokin?

[ssr71]

He wrong! Jackie Chan no drive no Subaru! He drive Mitsubishi!

http://www.imcdb.org/vehicle_24630-M...rion-1983.html

Seen that movie many times. The guy that played Jaws in the '70s Bond movies was his driver.

[prubrew]

Absolutely the best...(sounds like it was written by the Most Interesting Man In The World...right after he finished his 3rd Dos Equis)

Chris

[30Weight]

He has to sell it to make the payments on the Vespa......

[TexasElCamino]

Great ad! I hope I can remember some of his descriptions for when I try to sell another vehicle.

[DONE DEAL DONNY]

I write ads all the time, some I thought were pretty good but I bow to him!!!
Donny

[cees klumper]

Originally Posted by ssr71

He wrong! Jackie Chan no drive no Subaru! He drive Mitsubishi!

http://www.imcdb.org/vehicle_24630-M...rion-1983.html

Seen that movie many times. The guy that played Jaws in the '70s Bond movies was his driver.

Actually he's right - he's referring to the first Cannonball movie, in which Jackie did drive a Subaru (one like this I think) and his co-driver was another Japanese actor. It had a rocket as 'secret weapon'.

[1972elcaminomartin]

That is a salesman...Right there..Gold !!