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Discussion Starter #1
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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WARNING:
The crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode
 

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You might be an alcoholic if:

You've ever been run over by your own car... while driving it.

You've ever been arrested... while in jail.

You've ever had the roof of your mouth sunburned.

You wake up in the morning and fall off the hood of your car.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping -- with your Oldsmobile.

Worried friends call to make sure you returned the goat.

Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's VomitMan!"

If you keep asking your wife "where are the kids?", but you don't really have a wife and you're talking to the refridgerator.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs.

At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

If your idea of one for the road is one six-pack.

If you think '99 bottles of beer on the wall' is a good start.

If you use napkins as business cards.

If you think all your friends are twins.

If your idea of a good nights' sleep is not falling off the curb.

If your idea of a one night stand is not falling down the whole night.

You have awakened with an overwelming feeling that you should go back and apologize... but you don't remember where.

The Tipsy Taxi service has banned you from all its vehicles.

The last time you had a legal driver's license, so did Ted Kennedy.

"But Officer, it's been a long time since I tried to say my ABC's!"

All of your old friends are now members of 12-step groups.

The 911 disptacher no longer has to ask your wife for the address.

You know for certain that putting your foot on the floor does not stop the room from spinning.

You fart and then feel a lump in your back pocket.
 

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theelcaminofactory said:
Do you guys really work for a living?
Work? Work? What's that?
 

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87 Choo Choo
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theelcaminofactory said:
Do you guys really work for a living?
Only when absolutely necessary! :p

Actually, I keep three computer running all day in my little Dilbert cubicle...Guess where one of them always is?
 

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NECOA Founder
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844 Posts
I need to speak to your company's Desktop Services department. Your web access security software ain't workin'. :lol:
 

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ElkySS said:
I need to speak to your company's Desktop Services department. Your web access security software ain't workin'. :lol:
Prezactly!
 

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88 Posts
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

::shakes head in shame:: :oops:
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Skullzz13 said:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

::shakes head in shame:: :oops:
What is really bad is when people are stepping on your hands when your sure your dancing. :cry:
 
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